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Changing the world
one mind at a time
a quiet night in James land 
19th-Aug-2003 02:34 am
me
Really just relaxing a bit now after a bad night at work. Nothing new to report. As I used to label these days in high school in my old journal, "bored and depressed". If I still had a wworking word processor, and the disks that shit was written on, I could probably post enough angst to run a goth club for a week. Or my pseudo-intellectual pieces on various hot button issues of the time. Like my lovely abortion piece concerning chickens and eggs.

I was a dumb-ass at 16. I'm an even bigger one at 27. I have yet to do anything of meaning, and when I die, the experiences I value most will blow away like sand on the wind. I mean, who but me knows and cares about a particular patch of land in Yellow Springs? I have quite a few memories attached to various places out there. Admittedly, several of them are sexual in nature, but hey, it's one of the few things I'm good at. At work, I find old memories creeping back. You'd be amazed how many things you forget that can come back later.

I hate it. I hate feeling like a waste of an egg and a sperm. Hell, I'm not even propigating the species in this life. I have no real reason to exist, biologically speaking.

Fuck.

Everyone pardon me, I seem to have rediscovered my inner teen-ager.
Comments 
19th-Aug-2003 03:58 pm (UTC)
Travel.

Don't sit around thinking about it for another couple of years. Just go do something.
20th-Aug-2003 01:33 am (UTC)
Trying to arrange a trip to Vegas in December...hopefully I can swing it.
20th-Aug-2003 12:43 am (UTC)
Guess what?

It's 3AM.

Tonight, I'm not depressed, but that could be because we learned tonight that the she-beast is leaving before the first of next month!

Where's the party when I want one???

I hope you feel better. The old-and-worthless routine is one I've known personally for a while. I've been broke recently so that just makes the matter worse. My only solace has been that I can write again.

*HUGS*
20th-Aug-2003 01:33 am (UTC)
Sorry, I really didn't mean to get moody...just kind of snuck up on me.

Glad to hear the she-beast leviathan is moving...should make life easier for you and Bear.

*HUG*
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