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Changing the world
one mind at a time
a walk home with a friend 
22nd-Sep-2001 02:58 am
Tonight after work, I got to walk home with the one of the other gay guys from work, Mr. Griff. Now to be honest, I like Griff, and I wouldn't mind if anyting ever happened. The problem I have is that I also really like one of the other (str8) guys, and I think Griff likes him too. Now, ordinarily, tis wouldn't be a big deal, but it leads me to consider masculinity and my issues therewith. In a bookj I onc eread, they stated that faggots and football players need each other, as the football player gets worshiped, and the faggot gets respect. Out of the three of us, Brad is the most masculine, and Griff is the most feminine. I wonder if my interest in Brad, and for that matter Griff's interest in both of us, is icon worship in nature. I really don't know. I just can't help but wonder where it is I find an equal. Now before I get yelled at for narcissism, let me explain. If I were to do anything with Brad, I would consider him Alpha. If Griff and I did anything, more than likely, I would be the Alpha. This is not a good basis for a relationship, unless it is one enjoyed by our S&M brethern. Not that I have a problem with that, but unless the relationship is entered under those of master and slave, it will invariably fall apart, as all icons have feet of clay.
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