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Changing the world
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2 dozen commandments for men 
21st-Dec-2001 10:59 pm
me

> > Subject: 2 dozen male commandments
> >
> > The 2 Dozen Male Commandments
> >
> > 1. Thou shalt not rent Sleepless in Seattle.
> >
> > 2. When on a fishing trip with the guys, never, no matter how sunburned
> > you and your buds may be....is it NOT appropriate to rub sunscreen on each
> > other's backs.
> >
> > 3. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem-you didn't see nothin'.
> >
> > 4. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed
> > and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
> >
> > 5. When in need to go pee, there is a minimum of one empty urinal
between you and another man. If this is not possible, you're out of luck----hold
> > it 'til later.
> >
> > 6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50% without
> > recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call you
> > on it. (Exception: When trying to pick-up a girl, the allowable
exaggeration rate rises to 400%).
> >
> > 7. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
> >
> > 8. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is
off-limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
> >
> > 9. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's
> > running late: five minutes. Maximum waiting time: six minutes. For a
> > girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the
> > classic 1-10 scale.
> >
> > 10. Things that you can always cheat on: your taxes, the SAT's, and your
> > resume. Things you can never cheat on: golf, darts, poker.
> >
> > 11. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines the pit stops, not
> > the weakest.
> >
> > 12. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
> >
> > 13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
> > until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a
> > Buffalo wing clean.
> >
> > 14. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail
out a friend within 12 hours.
> >
> > 15. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
> > man. (In fact even remembering your best buddy's birthday is strictly optional).
> >
> > 16. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a
> > girlfriend's cat, even if you secretly set it on fire and threw it into
a ceiling fan.
> >
> > 17. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking
about his choice of beer.
> >
> > 18. Unless you have signed a lucrative endorsement contract, do not
appear in public wearing more than one Nike swoosh.
> >
> > 19. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may
> > always ask the score of the game in progress; but you may never ask
> > who's playing.
> >
> > 20. It is permissible to order a fruity chick drink only when you're
> > sunning on a tropical beach....and it's delivered by a topless
> > model....and it's free.
> >
> > 21. Only in a situation of mortal peril are you allowed to kick another
> > member of the male species in the "family jewels."
> >
> > 22. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing:
> > both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations,
an almost imperceptible "I recognize you" nod is all the conversation you need.
> >
> > 23. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
remain sober enough to do her.
> >
> > 24. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
> >
> >
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