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Wank 
29th-Mar-2007 08:17 pm
Hello cthulhu
Ok, been thinking more and more about my issues with contemporary horror movies.

I'm well aware that virginal characters, in particular virginal characters with vaginas, are the most likely to not only survive, but also thrive in a horror movie. (Yes, there are exceptions. Night of the Living Dead comes to mind. Barbara didn't exactly fare well under the circumstances.)

Another old trend I'm seeing more and more of on the rental shelf is EVIL CHILDREN! Once again, the scare factor is the idea of out virginal character doing evil and therefore losing their innocence, usually by killing most of the adults. (Which, admittedly, evil children bug me. Gage in Pet Sematary bugged the hell out of me for weeks. I can still hear him going "No fair, daddy, no fair!")

And then we have the very rare gay character who shows up. In Bride of Chucky, he gets a chump death by semi. (Ok, so they corrected this in Son of Chucky by giving John Waters one of the best deaths in the fucking movie.) Or in Jeepers Creepers 2 when the nice, quiet gay boy sacrifices himself to save the really obnoxious homophobic African-American character. Or basically, the socially unacceptable minority dying so that the increasingly more acceptable minority can live. (This in and of itself is rare. As the Wayans Bros. pointed out in Scary Movie, African-American Characters are usually among the first to die in a mainstream horror flick. And the fact that Jeepers Creepers can be looked at as a parable about pedophilia doesn't really help matters either.) And I think I can sum up my issue with all of this fairly clearly. It's assumed any virgin is ostensibly heterosexual. Therefore, regardless of whether or not the gay character is pretty much a eunuch, he's not pure and therefore subject to dying before the credits roll. We all know the heroine wants the hero's big fat usually white cock, but she won't take it because she's gonna survive.

I know Hellbent is out now, but finding it here in the Midwest is an issue. And in any case, it's not particularly mainstream.

I find myself wondering how many of us gay people would LOVE to watch a well written horror movie involving at the very least gay characters written on the same level as your stupid straight teenage horndogs just begging to get killed by whatever entity is haunting them.

Enough wanking.
Comments 
(Deleted comment)
30th-Mar-2007 03:17 am (UTC)
Well, yeah...but Clive's books don't translate that well to the big screen. I mean, yeah, Nightbreed was one of the best horror films ever made, but it still cut a LOT of material out.

The first two Hellraisers weren't bad, but both of them centered around Frank and Julia.

I won't mention Lord of Illusions, since Scott Bakula was the only thing that made me feel I hadn't wasted my money on that one.
30th-Mar-2007 03:34 am (UTC)
Pet Sematary has been my favorite "bad" horror movie since it came out. I was drawn to it because of Denise Crosby (Tasha Yar was my favorite ST:TNG character), but so much else about it is so inexplicably capitivating. The tragedy? The wrist-cutting soundtrack? (Come to think of it, it's such an emo horror movie.)

I find myself wondering how many of us gay people would LOVE to watch a well written horror movie involving at the very least gay characters written on the same level as your stupid straight teenage horndogs just begging to get killed by whatever entity is haunting them.

That's basically Hellbent. I saw it a year and a half ago. It's not particularly original aside from all the main characters being gay, but it's a lot of fun. Good eye candy, too.
30th-Mar-2007 03:42 am (UTC)
I wish to G-d someone here would stock it so I don't have to re-up Netflix.

And Yeah, Pet Sematary was a heck of a lot better than it had any right to be. Just watching the little brat imitate the diseased old woman just to piss off mommy...
30th-Mar-2007 03:36 am (UTC)
I've noticed that most horror movies have at least one minority in them anymore, they almost always die well, one dying near the very end of the movie in order to save the survivor and possibly the survivors love interest.

I think the trend really picked up during the 80's, as a moral lesson to invoke a spirit of trust and possibly guilt in people who would have expected said character to run off with everyone's wallets or at least push the two white people into the monster's mouth in order to get away.

As for a horror movie with gay characters as the surviving members... if I have seen any they have been those psuedo-lesbian couples... and I doubt it is for the sake of lesbian viewers.

Hmmmm... gay horror.

It could be called "Incident on and off a Brokeback Mountain Road" :/
30th-Mar-2007 03:40 am (UTC)
Oh yeah, the Ginger Snaps series. Lesbian Werewolves. I tend to forget those since they really hold no interest for me.

But yeah, it does seem to be PC to put a minority in a movie, which they correct by killing 'em.

I will say Bones was pretty good.
30th-Mar-2007 04:00 am (UTC)
Yeah, that movie was great... but I had to wait till after the first week to go see it in theaters because everyone always mistakes me for Denzel Washington.
30th-Mar-2007 04:02 am (UTC)
Dammit, you just made me choke on my pot pie.

Mainly because Denzel Washington has been a punchline in at least 2 gay movies...Jeffery and To Wong Foo, Thanks for everything, Julie Newmar.
30th-Mar-2007 03:38 am (UTC)
I saw Hellbent. You didn't miss much. Actually I have several movies from the 8 Films To Die For dvd collection in my Netflix queue. Several of the selections got very nice reviews in EW.
30th-Mar-2007 03:45 am (UTC)
Watched Dark Ride last night, got The Gravedancers and Jesus Camp tonight. I'm kind of pissed, Hollywood only has one copy of Wicked Little Things, which is the one I wanted to see. Heard really bad things about Unrest. And I'm saving Penny Dreadful for last, since it has that annoying sound on the soundtrack.
30th-Mar-2007 03:49 am (UTC)
I have Dark Ride, Penny Dreadful, and The Hamiltons on my list. I may eventually add the others too.
30th-Mar-2007 03:56 am (UTC)
My review of Dark Ride. No spoilers.

Was actually a decent movie.
30th-Mar-2007 03:59 am (UTC)
Cool. I'll look forward to it.
30th-Mar-2007 04:01 am (UTC)
Seriously tho, the look on Jaime-Lynn's face at the end is priceless. She's supposed to look like she's screaming, but she looks more like she just saw a stripper's itty-bittie wiener. It was so unintentionally funny I had Diet Cherry coke coming out my nose.
30th-Mar-2007 04:02 am (UTC)
LOL. That's why I love low budget horror movies sometimes, the unintentional hilarity.
30th-Mar-2007 04:15 am (UTC)
This is very true.

Have you seen Slumber Party Massacre? We used to joke the killer moved so fast the last 5 minutes was going to be just him twiddling his thumbs.
30th-Mar-2007 12:25 pm (UTC)
LOL. Sounds interesting.
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