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Poll #1026129… 
22nd-Jul-2007 09:58 pm
me
Poll #1026129 Extra-marital thingies.

Which would you be more likely to forgive a spose/SO for?

One Time fling/s
5(33.3%)
extended affair
0(0.0%)
both could be forgiven
7(46.7%)
neither is a forgivable offense.
3(20.0%)


And comment with why.

And no, to my knowledge, this is not a situation I'm in. Just curious, due to my own minor jealousy when John went to the Beer bust at the Pride float without me. (I was at work.)
Comments 
23rd-Jul-2007 03:13 am (UTC)
I will not stand for cheating. We invited another into our bed together, by mutual agreement, but you cheat on me once, it's just done. Period.
23rd-Jul-2007 04:26 am (UTC)
I see where you're coming from, I just keep thinking of DeDe and D'orothea trading a one night stand for a cheeseburger in Tales of the City:)
23rd-Jul-2007 04:10 am (UTC)
An extended affair is ongoing deception, while a one-time fling is probably hasty judgment and hormones. Not that I'd necessarily forgive either, but the affair is definitely worse.
23rd-Jul-2007 04:30 am (UTC)
Let me phrase that better.

I've heard more that a few folks say they're more offended by the partner having meaningless sex because it impinges on the idea that the partner could be having meaningful sex with the other partner. Which I can't quite figure out if I'd feel that way.
23rd-Jul-2007 04:41 am (UTC)
But wouldn't the seemingly meaningful sex in the extended affair, which would be displacing meaningful sex between the partners, be more offensive?

I don't understand those folks' POV.
23rd-Jul-2007 04:44 am (UTC)
Yeah, I think I'd be tempted to pull a Mary Jo Buttafucco on his ass.
23rd-Jul-2007 09:58 am (UTC)
Bringing home someone else's cooties and giving no warning, is unforgivable, for the deceipt, and for the disragard of another's safety, and a pure indicator that a person is unable to think about anyone but themselves - wanting the best of both worlds.

I could see it if someone came home to tell another person they had messed up... that is just saying "it is over" while giving the other person an option to forgive. Then again... I have yet to ever just accidentally fall inside of someone, and feel that the situations that lead to such accidents are often drawn out and equally unfaithful.
23rd-Jul-2007 12:53 pm (UTC)
I'm too easy-going to worry about such things, in general.
23rd-Jul-2007 01:51 pm (UTC)
"could" is the key word in the question, afaic

Generally speaking, I'm much more interested in permission than forgiveness -- someone has to go really, really, really far to "cheat" in my relationships. Even then, I trend toward thinking that a long-term relationship is a contractual arrangement with mutual interests, whereas sex is... just, you know... sex.
23rd-Jul-2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
if we had set the standards about safe sex, and as long as i knew that i was The Primary Person in their life (and that they're not auditioning other people for that part) then i would be okay with a lot of things. but the negotiations would have taken place before all this happened, hopefully.
24th-Jul-2007 03:52 am (UTC)
I could forgive either if the person was honest about it before I found out. If I find out I'm being lied to before the other person comes clean its over. Although it would be harder to forgive an extended affair.

That's why I'm for open relationships.
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