Now that I've gotten all that out of my system, I can type something a little more frivolous. First of all, I'm worried about my friend Janna. She and I had the IM conversation from hell tonight. I love her dearly, but I feel helpless to help her. I pray (my pagan prayers, as mommie dearest calls them) that she finds what she is looking for. I know that we got set up as the POWER couple when we met, but hey, that's my own damn fault for not coming out at work.
I'm still pissed because my date cancelled on me yesterday. First of all, he allegedly owns his own dungeon, which is a plus, imho. The problem is he says he only wants to be the dom during a scene, which so far he has not lived up to. He calls me and gives me these commands that I really have no desire to deal with. Phone sex, while fun on occasion, is not exactly something I enjoy when people are home.
This entire moving thing sucks though. I really wish I was still in Dayton, even if it's in danger of getting bombed during a war. Like I care. "A coward dies a thousand times before his death/the valient taste of death but once/with all the wonders I yet have seen/ it seems to me so strange that men should fear/seeing that death, a necessary end/will come when it will come." -Shakespeare, _Julius Caesar_.
I'm still not sure why I agreed to this, it seems like I am cursed. Of course Cassius from the above play makes the comment, "The fault dear Brutus, lies not within the stars but within ourselves." It must be late, because I'm writing in Iambic Pentameter. Hell, I know it's late because I sent for information on joining the Army.
I don't know, I just wish I could get on with life. What I really want right now is a car that works, a warm body in bed with me, all my bills paid off, and a wallet filled with bills. "If wishes were horses, beggers would ride."
Actually as bad as it sounds, what I really want right now is a joint. Hey, it's been 2 years...
I know that things can and will get better. The Goddess and Her consort haven't let me down so far. I just wish I could motivate them to work faster. I pray each night for some direction, because right now, I'm really out of sorts. I love my roommates, but I'm really too far afield over here. I can't figure out which way is up.
- Music:"Always"-Bon Jovi