LJ just ate what I had typed out dammit.
One year of this account is 9-12, although my first post didn't go up until 9-13. What I had to say still rings true now. I have done what I can, I gave blood, and I prayed. I gave comfort to my friends, I didn't comment on the plethora of stinky poetry that got posted to my various Yahoogroups the following week, because I knew that it was an expression of emotion at an event people are still trying to comprehend.
Hell, I'm still trying to comprehend the aftermath. The way I see it, the terroists got their wish. We've quietly accepted the lessening of our rights for a feeling of security. To some degree, I think we've become more intolerant of people who don't think like us. But again, we still mourn. My mother once told me about December 7th, 1941, and I think we are in a similar place now as we were then. The difference being we had a clear enemy in WW II. Now, to me at least, it seems like everything is a shade of gray. Yes, I'm mad as hell someone used an airplane as a weapon of mass destruction. but blaming their religion as a whole is bullshit. Yes, I disagree with the way they interpret their holy book, but I also disagree with the way others interpret other holy books of their given religion. I really don't believe Jesus was messiah. I don't believe he's coming back, unless there is such a thing as reincarnation. I don't believe loving someone of the same sex, or loving someone in general is a horrible sin. All of us, myself included, have probably at some point used our beliefs to justify fear and predjudice.
Fuck. I said I wasn't going to get like this tonight. The original thought was something along the lines of the farther away the event, the less real it seems. Or the less meaning it has for the observer. My father died nearly 20 years ago. December 2nd used to be this big day of mourning for me. Now, half the time, I forget the signifigance altogether. 5-17-97 was the last time I saw a man I sometimes think of as the closest thing I have to a soulmate. The only reason I remember the date is an old fading journal entry I made the next day. All things fade over time. I think it's quite possibly the only reason we remain sane rational beings.
Great, I guess it's my week to be the ray of darkness.
Hugs to all my homies. May joy and peace find you.