But I've been busy elsewhere.
So, anyway, here's a fun l'il story I rewrote back in the days to Themestream, although it has had a few incarnations.Comfortably Dead
Barry Jones was a little stressed as he walked to his locker after English class. His girlfriend, Ravenna Slackmeyer, had called him and broken up with him, and his paper on MacBeth had suffered for it. As such, he was now failing Senior English Literature, and he might not be able to get into college without it. If it weren't for the fact that he was going out to lunch with Celeste, his hopefully new
girlfriend, his day would have been a total disaster.
He got to his basement locker and started to undo the lock, when he noticed a mysterious odor emanating from within. Curious as to what was causing it, Barry fumbled with the door until it opened,
revealing the severed head of Sean Morgan, Barry's best friend, sitting on the top shelf. Barry fainted.* * *
Barry woke up in a bed he didn't recognize with a sharp, stinging pain in his arm. He slowly turned to see an IV needle stuck in his arm, and slowly came to the comprehension that he was in a hospital
"Good evening, sunshine," a pretty brunette nurse said, smiling down on him. "We were afraid that you'd never wake up."
"I'm up now," Barry said, struggling to sit up. "What happened?"
"You passed out," the nurse said, adjusting the fluid bag. "The doctor was concerned when we couldn't bring you around, so we admitted you. Don't make any plans; I have a feeling you'll be in
here for a while."
"What about Sean?" Barry asked, as he started to remember the incident with his locker.
"What about me?" a familiar voice asked from the doorway. Barry turned his head to see Sean, head still attached, standing there.
"I'll leave you two alone," The nurse said. She headed out the door as Sean walked to the bed.
"It must have been a dream," Barry muttered.
"A bad dream?" Sean asked.
"Yes. Before I passed out, I could have sworn I saw your head in my locker," Barry replied.
"Oh you mean this?" Sean asked. A dark ring of blood appeared around Sean's neck, and his eyes rolled back in his head. Sean's head rolled forward off his shoulders and landed in Barry's lap with
a sickening plop. The dead eyes rolled to look accusingly at Barry. "This is all your fault!" the severed head keened at Barry though blue lips. Blood from the head streamed all over Barry's clean, white sheets.
Barry screamed and opened his eyes again, only to see a startled Sean looking at him funny.
"Are you ok, man?" Sean asked, his body again whole.
"I'm fine," Barry answered. "I don't know what the hell they're giving me, but I want off of it."
"I can't blame you," Sean said, smiling. "The last time I was here, I had visions of bad things happening to everyone I cared about. I think it's just the atmosphere here; it brings out the worst
"Have they mentioned when I'm getting out of here?"
"They haven't said anything to me. Of course, I'm not the one responsible for you, so I doubt they'd tell me anything anyway."
"Great," Barry said. "So, did anything else happen at school?"
"Not really," Sean answered. "By the way, would you mind terribly if I dated Ravenna? She asked me out after breaking up with you."
"I don't care," Barry answered. "If you can deal with all of her issues, you're more than welcome to her."
"Thanks, man. I wanted to make sure that you were cool with it before I did it."
"Not a problem. Just remember, she can be a pain in the ass sometimes."
Sean smiled, and got up to leave. "I have to get going, I have some things I need to get done. Good luck!" Sean left, leaving Barry to himself.
Barry laid back down, and drifted back out to sleep.* * *
"Wake up, peach blossom," A feminine voice said, waking Barry up.
He looked up to see Ravenna standing over his bed.
"Ravenna?" Barry asked. "What are you doing here?"
"I heard you had some problems," she said. "I wanted to check on you."
"I'm ok," Barry said, admiring her molten tresses. Ravenna's red hair was what had attracted him to her in the first place. Her lithe, flexible body was an added bonus. Her personality left something to
be desired. "I'm surprised to see you. I thought you and Sean were an item now."
"Well, I got to thinking, and I decided to forgive you for forcing me to cheat on you with Sean," Ravenna replied. "And then I decided that I'd take you back, if only because you're better in bed than
Sean will ever dream of being."
"How gracious of you," Barry said, knowing that the sarcasm would fly over her head.
"I thought so," Ravenna said, proving Barry's theory. "I figured I know just what to make you feel better."
She giggled and lifted up the hospital gown. "Just as I thought. You don't wear anything under one of these," she said, slowly teasing him to arousal. She slowly pulled her blouse off, revealing that she
wasn't wearing a bra. She removed her skirt slowly, and then mounted Barry on his hospital bed.
"Quiet," she whispered to him, putting her hand over his mouth. "I don't want to be interrupted."
To Barry, it was better than it had ever been. Perhaps it was the risk of discovery involved, or maybe it was the make up factor. Then, as a climax was building, he felt something very wet hit his face.
Opening his eyes, he saw a line of blood forming down the middle of her face. As he watched in terror, her entire head split open down the middle. As if one of God's practical jokes, a piece of her brain
fell on his chest as he climaxed. She collapsed on top of him, dead. He screamed as thick, viscous blood dripped into his throat along with gray matter and bone tissue.
He opened his eyes again, only to see Ravenna sitting in the same chair as she had been, whole and alive.
"Did you go to sleep on me again?" she asked, glaring at him. "Forget everything I said to you. You still are an asshole!" She got up and stormed out of the room.
Barry, feeling exhausted by the realistic dreams, fell into sleep again.
"Wake up, Barry," a child-like voice said into his ear. "It's time to play."
Barry woke to find a small boy of about four standing beside his bed. "Who are you, little boy?" Barry asked, dazed.
"My mommy calls me Ashteroth," the boy answered. "She says that when I grow up, I'll appreciate being named after a demon."
"Huh?" Barry asked, coming around fully into consciousness. "What?"
"My mommy says I'm a demon, just like my daddy," the boy answered. He giggled.
"Your mommy must be one sick puppy," Barry muttered. "Shouldn't you be in bed right now?"
"Mommy said I should wake you up and play with you," the boy answered.
"Who's your mother?" Barry asked.
"You should know, daddy," The boy said, with a malevolent glint in his eye. "After all, you did screw her."
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't you remember? You and Mommy were together and I was what they found under the cabbage leaf."
"Is Ravenna your mommy?" Barry asked. "Did she put you up to this sick joke?"
"Yes, and it's no joke, daddy." As the boy said this, his voice distorted, growing deeper. then Barry saw that the boys hands had extended into claws. The boy's seemingly innocent eyes had taken on a
"I get it. This is another one of those damn hallucinations I've been having," Barry said out loud, as if to dispel the image.
"This is no dream, Barry," the boy said, as he grew fangs. "I'm real, and so are you."
"No it's not," Barry answered, feeling rational. "If I ignore you, you'll disappear."
The former child giggled in a parody of a child's laugh. "Can a dream do this?" it asked, clawing at Barry's chest. The claws broke skin, and Barry felt a sharp pain in his chest, as the thing tried to
claw his heart.
Hallucination or not, Barry had to get out of here. He punched the thing, causing it to withdraw its claw. Barry then summoned up all of his courage and jumped out of bed.
"You'll pay for that, daddy," the thing said. It jumped onto the bed, sprouting horns as it did.
Barry pulled out the IV needle. "I'm getting out of here! I'm not your daddy!" he screamed at the thing. Barry, running on adrenaline alone, turned and ran, crashing through the window and falling five
stories until he hit ground, feeling free at last.
Barry woke up again, this time in a padded room. He heard voices talking outside.
"I keep telling you, Lucy, Mr. Renfield will never get better," a male voice with a British accent said.
"I know, Dr. Seward," a female voice, presumably Lucy, answered. "I just keep hoping he can tell me something about my beloved Jonathon."
Upon hearing these names, Barry walked to the window to see what he could only assume was Carfax Abbey staring upon his room from the hill. "Now I know I'm dreaming," he muttered.
A slow fog began to seep in through the windows. Barry could only assume that this meant the famous Transylvanian Count was preparing to visit him. The fog, sure enough, began to take a vaguely human
shape. But the shape it chose was the form he had jumped out a window to escape.
"I told you there was no escape," the thing said in its sepulcher voice. "Are you ready for the answers you want now, Barry?"
"Tell me," Barry said, afraid of denying the demon.
And suddenly Barry saw. Flash! Ravenna calling him and breaking up with him, telling him that she knew his secret and would tell everyone. Flash! Him calling his other lover, Sean to see about
visiting him. Flash! Sean saying he had other plans. Flash! Barry walking to Sean's house. Flash! Peaking in the windows to see Ravenna mounted on Sean. Flash! He was walking to the tool shed.
Then Barry was living the images, unable to stop himself. He grabbed an axe out of the shed and walked in the back door. He walked to the living room where his two lovers were enjoying themselves. He
waited in the shadows for the right moment. As Ravenna began moaning in ecstasy, Barry ran out an drove the axe through her perfect face, causing her brain matter and blood to pour down Sean's throat as he
As Sean looked up in horror, he saw Barry standing over him. He begged for mercy, but Barry separated Sean's head and shoulders. Barry cut out Ravenna's heart, making her as heartless in death as in
life, then chopped off his own hand in a form of suicide. Let them think he killed them in a jealous rage over her, rather than over Sean. And as he died, he knew why Ravenna was in such a bad mood that
night. Ravenna was going to have his child.
"Do you see now, Daddy?" the demon crooned. "Do you see why you're here now?"
"Is there no salvation or forgiveness for me?" Barry asked.
"Who would save one such as you?" the demon asked. "No one."
Barry screamed as the demon began to feed.
Yes, I was having issues when I rewrote this way back in the day. But it's still a fun one to revisit. It was my anger at my high school expressiong itself.