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Changing the world
one mind at a time
Maybe I should have burned these a long time ago... 
14th-Sep-2002 02:27 pm
As I have mentioned before, I'm typing up old entries from my various notebooks elsewhere. What I'm noticing is that there is no sense of chronology in them, particularly since I never bothered dating a few of the more interesting essays.
What's really bugging me though is all the letters to various ex-boyfriends I have written out inside them. All kinds of piss and vinegar there. And the sad part is that I don't miss any of th ex's in question. For the most part, we've gone our separate ways.

Now, as to the book I was bitching about earlier this week, I'm taking notes. I'm also cross-referencing it with a few religious texts. There is going to be a reckoning, and I'm probably going to get a few people mad when I tell them how wrong they are in their suppositions. Heh. I always wanted to say that.

Now, I must slay the laundrobeast, with its firey breath and stench of death.
14th-Sep-2002 02:05 pm (UTC)
laundrobeast, hehe, cool.

gangrel pri, are you hell bent on pissing yourself off or what, lol?

Maybe you're a stronger person than I and so much better at all this closure stuff, but when I read old letters that I wrote to the ex, it makes the wounds feel so fresh. I really suck at this thing called forgiveness. *sigh*
14th-Sep-2002 02:09 pm (UTC) - Re:
Well, the thing is that most of the letters I have written are the ones I never intended to show the ex in question. Like the one discussing 5 things he could do to make our sex life better. Or the ones concerning vengence.
In other words, they're the ones that make me happy said ex is gone. The only time it kind of hurts is the early entries about how much I love so and so. I get over that by reading the letter which said, "I'm good enough to suck your dick, but not good enough to be your bf?" That does wonders.
14th-Sep-2002 11:52 pm (UTC)
I had one of those too! One of those "hey baby, suck my dick, but I'm not ready for a relationship, at least not with you" types. My past choices in men has been pathetic. I hope I do better in the future. And the letters that you write, but never intend to send, can be some of the best therapy you'll ever have. At least, they have been for me. Just too painful for me to look at now.
15th-Sep-2002 12:00 am (UTC) - Re:
Yeah, looking at them now is kind of weird, but the guy the major bitch one was written to has been out of my life nearly 4 years now. And from what I understand, his life has gone to hell. So I don't mind as much:)
14th-Sep-2002 07:47 pm (UTC) - Old Journals
Maybe you should offer them to fire, but I am not so certain you are ready for that step yet. Finding when they were written and making chronological sense of them could be done, I suppose. You'll just have to find dates between the lines. Like, if thing X couldn't have happened before event Y or if you remember dating guy Z during a period and you mention him as the love of your life....

As the ex-BFs, just be glad they are the past.

14th-Sep-2002 11:14 pm (UTC) - Re: Old Journals
*chuckles* Well, considering I was writing in about 3 different notebooks at the time...so current thought is to just write them out notebook by notebook, since I know the order I got them in. the only real chronology issues are a few which mention a bad living situation mixed in with a few mentioning dating Evil Kris.

And I am glad they are past.
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