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Changing the world
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Fight Stupidity! 
17th-Oct-2002 10:51 pm

Straight Pride Parade

Celebrate Heterosexuality with other proud, straight men and women

Are you a proud heterosexual who is feeling left out by the attentiongiven to gays in the national media and popular culture? The join us at the third annual Straight Pride Parade, a celebration of heterosexual culture and history, to recognize all the straight men and women who for thousands of years have continued the human species through healthy and natural (hetero) sexual intercourse. The traditional, healthy straight lifestyle is practiced by some 99.997% of humans worldwide, who just like you, are: straight...and proud of it!

Join us this Saturday, October 19th at 11:00AM at the center of the Oval to organize and begin preperations for the parade, which is currently schedualed for next spring quarter. Hope to see you there!

Personaly, I think instead of doing what I assume to be the usual counter-protest with a bunch of gay pride slogans, or worse, just ignoring it, we should help make it a real PRIDE parade. We get a bunch of signs, and join as "Parents, friends and family of heterosexuals". Our signs could read, "My son's a bredder, but not a bottom feeder!" We could help outfit the marchers, so that Straight Pride is not represented by cheap clothes and rednecks.
And of course, we also get people to stand along the parade route with signs quotiong the Bible's prohibitions towards heterosexual acts. These peopel get the fun of condeming the marchers to hell for their immoral acts of having sex during menstration and before marriage. And for the tasteless personal assault sign, we get one with a picture of a sniper rifle that says "Snipers cure heterosexuality". (For those of you who read this who weren't around for last year's GLBT PRIDE, some asshole had a sign making reference to the drag queen who got killed by a samuri sword.) And one which reads "Syphillus cures Breeders".

And I also got to watch the floor mopper at #1 Chinese pick his underwear out of his ass after he made my Chicken Lo Mein.
17th-Oct-2002 08:37 pm (UTC)
Dammmmm I only get such seasoning at the local Jack in the Crack!As far as Straight Pride Day, I believe I shall attend! I have friends who are straight, and do no apoligize for it. I will honor their wishes to lead their lives as they see fit. I believe they were born that way, and have no choice in the matter. I would be seen in public with a straight person, and would never pretend to know what God has in store for them.
17th-Oct-2002 11:04 pm (UTC) - Re:
Mmm. Fortunately, my food was being boxed by the time he went spelunking. I wouldn't have minded near as much if he weren't looking at the mirrored wall while he was doing it.

I'm proud of my heterosexual mother though. I'll march for her honor.
18th-Oct-2002 06:14 am (UTC) - Re:
Your mother too?? Damm it seems as if all of us have hetro's lurking in our family tree!:-)
18th-Oct-2002 11:17 am (UTC) - Re:
*snort* Well, someone has to breed the next generation
18th-Oct-2002 11:33 am (UTC) - Re:
You talkin about "Fresh meat"??:-)
18th-Oct-2002 02:48 pm (UTC) - Re:
Oh yeah.
17th-Oct-2002 08:55 pm (UTC)
OkOK I'll admit it! I'm ashamed I diddn't come out and say it in the first place! I have people, in my own family, who are straight! Ok you all know it now and I feel better!
17th-Oct-2002 11:00 pm (UTC) - Re:
Oh the horror! The Horror!!
18th-Oct-2002 06:11 am (UTC) - Re:
Oh Girl stop it!! Ur scaring me more than I already am!lol
17th-Oct-2002 09:23 pm (UTC) - grrrrrrrrr
oh shucks, the heteros are being mean again. well at least theyve been so kind to populate the world with us.
17th-Oct-2002 10:37 pm (UTC) - Re: grrrrrrrrr
Awwww comon! Give credit where credit is due, as without them we would have slim pickins!!:-)
18th-Oct-2002 07:14 pm (UTC) - Re: grrrrrrrrr
I wouldnt say that, invetro fertilization baby.
17th-Oct-2002 10:59 pm (UTC) - Re: grrrrrrrrr
Heh. I don't particularly mind if heterosexuals want to flaunt their sexuality. I mean, yeah, if it weren't for them, us superiors of the species wouldn't exist;)
18th-Oct-2002 07:09 pm (UTC) - Re: grrrrrrrrr
well they already do flaunt their sexuality, everywhere. in the media, in the public, anywhere possiblel. and its not like we need them anymore anyway.
18th-Oct-2002 11:37 pm (UTC) - Re: grrrrrrrrr
Well, we have to get new blood from somewhere...Do you really want to live in a world where heterosexuals breed new gay folk like cattle?
17th-Oct-2002 10:01 pm (UTC)
I love that idea. :>
17th-Oct-2002 10:58 pm (UTC) - Re:
Now if only someone would pick up on it and run with it. If this is an absurd plot, then we shoudl respond with absurdity. Hey, if it works for the government...
18th-Oct-2002 07:26 am (UTC)
Of course you could just go and pick up some closet cases. I mean anyone that's so enamored with advertising a preference that's already socially acceptable and implied has got to have some issues.
18th-Oct-2002 11:14 am (UTC) - Re:

Well, it would fit in with my obsession with "the wrong kind of men"...
18th-Oct-2002 09:20 am (UTC)
I love your ideas. I can't believe people are actually going to do this.
18th-Oct-2002 11:11 am (UTC) - Re:
Oh, I find it amusing. I just wish I could figure out who the hell is the campus sponsor.
18th-Oct-2002 02:30 pm (UTC)
Wish I could be there with my protest sign. ;-)
18th-Oct-2002 02:46 pm (UTC) - Re:
it would be amusing:)
18th-Oct-2002 06:28 pm (UTC) - Oy Vey!
I dunno know what to say really. People need to chill on this sex hate stuff. I don't have time for gay-bashing or for straight-bashing.

Shabbat Shalom!

heterosexism: the prejudicial privileging of heterosexuality as a dominant cultural institution over minority sexualities, which are in turn "inferiorized" and even "demonized" by comparison with the heterosexual ideal.

homosexism: the camply ironic counter-privileging of homosexuality as a spiritually or aesthetically superior institution to heterosexuality; usually in reaction to heterosexism.

18th-Oct-2002 11:38 pm (UTC) - Re: Oy Vey!
Shalom Shabbos. And yes, I'm just as guilty of propegating the absurdity. But I had fun doing so so :P
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