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Changing the world
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Just say NO! to tree sex!</font> Millions of people in the… 
20th-Apr-2005 10:20 pm

Just say NO! to tree sex!</font>

Millions of people in the USA are suffering due to immoral trees pollinating each other during the spring. These trees are performing sexual reproduction without the benefit of MATRIMONY! This has got to stop!

Sexual reproduction outside of wedlock will lead these trees straight to HELL and they will take us, the taxpayers of AMERICA with them if we don't stop them from flaunting their fornication! Every spring, trees and weeds which haven't so much as talked to a clergyman in their lifetime release their foul pollen into the air, dropping their disgusting seed on the ground like Onan. And we, the moral folks of the USA must suffer sneezing, wheezing, swollen eyes, and runny noses thanks to these hell bound plants.

How can we save our nation from this immorality and save ourselves from false idols like Benedryll and Allegra?

We must teach these trees that reproduction must be done with the male organ on top of the female organ, under the sheets, in a bedroom, instead of out in public like some deviant pervert. We must go forth and show these trees that their tree sex MUST be done only after marriage. We must marry these little hippie flower children and save them and ourselves from HELL! Only then will our suffering end.


(Yeah, allergy medicine does weird things to me.)

21st-Apr-2005 05:24 am (UTC)
I don't want to give trees the right to marry though. It would destroy the sanctity of marriage.
21st-Apr-2005 05:29 am (UTC)
True enough. Maybe we should start a campaign to snip off their sex organs to keep them from this kind of behavior.
21st-Apr-2005 09:25 am (UTC)
Dude, that was supah out there. And I laughed my ass off.
21st-Apr-2005 10:32 pm (UTC)
This is what happens when I take allergy/sinius meds. Be afraid, be very afraid.
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