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Changing the world
one mind at a time
Answers from the meme earlier 
29th-Jun-2005 07:18 pm
Which amazingly enough didn't get me hit with a "come see my cam!" solicitation.

However, I notice participants did ask me all about sex, other than one user who forgot the anonymous section of of the meme, who instead chose to dig up a joke that's been dead for years.

Anyway, anonymous comments are back to disabled, and I now bring you...

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?

Depends on whether or not you count that dirty dream from years ago involving satyrs.

Describe the sensations of your first love; your fantasy if you've never been in love, or the reality if you have been.

Not exactly in the form of a question, but...

Let's define first love. That would be Mike. I've discussed him at various points, ususally trying to define what our relationship really was. Which is kind of silly, since the undefined nature of us was what made it fun.

So let's see. The first sensation I remember was this lusty feeling of my stomach dropping out my ass. Kind of a repulsion/attraction thing that came from watching Mike suck off John. Then let's move to arousal/fear that came from our first time. We were parking cars with the Scouts for a Quilt Show at the Armory in Urbana. We managed to sneak into the bathroom together and it is there I had my first sexual encounter with a man. In the Men's room shower.

Then as time passed, the fear went away. When your options are limited, you find ways to get privacy when you need it. So the next sensation would be happiness. Which turned into boredom after a few years.

The problem we ran into with boredom stemmed from neither of us being able to go to the next stage. This was on several levels. First, neither of us could top or bottom very well. For some reason, none of the materials I had at the time covered lube and not just ramming it in. Then there was Mike's girlfriend, small town homophobia, and my own wandering eye that got us in trouble. I did a few stupid things, we couldn't be very open about what was going on between us (which also sprouted into anger/depression during a few rough patches since there was no one I trusted enough to talk to about it), and Carla would have ripped his balls off if she knew about us.

So then we move ahead a few years. Which is when I can honestly say I found out how much fun adult emotions are. Because what happened was Mike met the first Chris in my life. And that lead to a mixture of jealousy, attraction, hatred, friendship, and love. See, what happened was We went out with Chris and I found out I could talk to Chris about all the things that I had questions about since he was more experianced. The problem was I found him attractive, and Mike found him attractive. And my jealousy kicked in high gear, since, while I didn't mind Mike having sex with women (I figured they had something I didn't), I did hate the idea of Mike with another man. And when Chris dropped him off that night, I knew what was going to happen. And that added a whole dimension of insecurity to this mix. Would Mike leave me for Chris?

So, to wrap up here, I got the full story from Chris the next day, which pissed me off since Mike didn't tell me. But...Mike came over that next night and showed me some of the stuff he learned from Chris. Which was good, since in many ways it made us better lovers. The problem was I couldn't get past the jealousy. (Keep in mind Mike and I had been lovers for 5 years, I was 16 or 17, And I was rationalizing my two other "experements" were to make Mike jealous. Thank G-d I've grown up a bit since then.)

And then there was heartbreak. Yeah, we broke up. Long and short of it is I went to college, Mike went to jail. But even before that, I realized I had made him jealous, and I was treating him like shit because of my jealousy. I honestly think we could have patched it up eventually, but by the time we actually sat in the same room, our lives were different. I still carry around our last night in my heart, but I know our time has passed. I wish him well, and hope he's happy whereever he is these days.

Do you have any crushes on the Columbus group of guys? Which ones do you find hot/intriguing or sexy?

Ok, That's two questions dammit. Anyway, let me start by saying for my attraction has always been based off interest being shown. Yeah, I find people sexy, but I generally don't admit it unless interest is shown.

So, I will admit to considering ripping just about everyone's clothes off like wrapping paper at one point or another, but it's not something I would actually act on. Among other things, I doubt the gesture (with one or two exceptions) would be welcomed, and second, my days of rutting around like a twink in heat are over for the most part. And to be honest, all of you have your own weird ways of being hot and sexy. Like bigdave's twisted sense of humor, cubhaystack's sardonic quietness, tremerebear's flamboyant joy over music, baeritone's intelligence and amazing recall of things from my youth, cmhcub4u's unflappability, cyph0enix's
outspoken sexual nature, mrguillo's sauciness, and mynamestitch's cuddle abilities and unique ability to find every erogenous zone I have. Excuse me a sec. keyboard's acting up enough as it is.

That's probably one of my worst flaws. I can and do find most men I meet hot and sexy in their own unique way.

If you could have sex without consequences with anyone from LJ, who would it be and why?

Do I have to choose just one? Could I just throw an orgy and get all of you?

(Deleted comment)
29th-Jun-2005 11:16 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
29th-Jun-2005 11:14 pm (UTC)
but of course...
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