Seems while all of you were fending off zombies yesterday, me being out at John's farm saved me from the hordes running through the streets of Springfield. It does however, make me question the number of red-eyed animals running in the corn last night, as well as what condition that racoon we chased out of the Haunt was in.
And it does explain the bleeding armadillo that was jumping like the rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail
. (Seriously, turns out that's their other defense. Those fuckers jump like a pole vaulter.)
Hmm, maybe that's why stewicked
called just as John and I were undressing...Knowing gothic_oreo
, he was probably one of the first to rise as undead, along with his friend Jason. She was probably fending off the rotting flesh of her husband while I was getting ready for hot loving with John. Sorry, dear. If your brains are still intact, I'll try to call later.
On the bright side, while John and I were at Django's (the Lebanon coffee house) we did hear how zombies are made. There was this rather nice group of unspecified denominational Xtian zombies in the party room discussing fasting for G-d. Seriously. The moderator was telling her zombie-ettes about how G-d instructs us all to do a prophet's fast (ie no food or drink for 40 days and 40 nights), and how fasting cures cancer. As we were leaving, I took a peek, and realized that the woman preaching this nonsense probably could use 40 days without food.
Oh yes, and after we finished clearing the dead animals from the corn, John showed me documentary on the Keebler Elves. Seems they started off life making shoes for a megacorperation, but the corp wanted them to branch out in to sewing prom dresses and the like. Ernie balked, saying "Keebler's cobble, but they don't sew gowns."
Any rate, I need to go clean the body parts out of my yard before the dogs takes a hankering for long pig.