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Changing the world
one mind at a time
Don't cut me out of your life then blame me for not being there. 
23rd-Jul-2007 01:06 am


Nothing sucks worse than fighting with one of your best friends.

Particularly since it feels like he's mad that I'm happy for once.

Not that he'll read this, since he deleted his journal again.

Ya know, I've tried to be there for you, I've tried to provide what I thought you were asking for.

You've been there for me during the low points, I've tried to be there for you during the lowpoints.

I've been your shoulder to cry on. I've listened to you suring some of the lowest points in your life.

And now, you tell me I'm a horrible person because I have a slice of happiness and I can't run back and be the magickal fix all to all of your problems?

I'm sorry, my darling. I love you dearly, but if I'm such a bad person, so be it. If you want to talk, you know where I am.
23rd-Jul-2007 12:35 pm (UTC)
What is going on, hon?
26th-Jul-2007 11:49 pm (UTC)
Well, one of our mutual Dayton friends deleted his journal and dropped off a mailing list right after picking a fight with me on YIM.

Thus the rant.
23rd-Jul-2007 02:20 pm (UTC)
Why did he delete his journal?
26th-Jul-2007 11:51 pm (UTC)
I'm really not sure. I've noticed he does this on occasion, I just haven't quite gotten the reason he's on hiatus again.
23rd-Jul-2007 02:47 pm (UTC)
I do believe that I got the delete notice today too. But then again it could be someone completely different.
26th-Jul-2007 11:51 pm (UTC)
More than bloodly likely, it's the same person.
27th-Jul-2007 01:22 am (UTC)
My friend is back. I know. Actually I hope to see him in a few weeks.
27th-Jul-2007 01:23 am (UTC)
Different guy then.

The one I was talking about has not returned.
27th-Jul-2007 01:24 am (UTC)
:( Duly noted. Sorry to hear that.
27th-Jul-2007 01:25 am (UTC)
No worries. *hugs*
(Deleted comment)
26th-Jul-2007 11:53 pm (UTC)
The person in question is going through a lot of personal issues at the moment. Which I'm inclined to forgive him for some of this. It's just a matter of his arguements on messenger came off really shitty, which pissed me off.
24th-Jul-2007 05:22 pm (UTC)
With friends like that who needs enemies! Those around you should be HAPPY when you're happy and things are going right. Also should be around when you're at your lowest and in need of at least a shoulder to cry on.

You keep hold of that happiness, James, and the hell with the poop head!
26th-Jul-2007 11:54 pm (UTC)
Ordinarily, he's not this bad. I know he's having personal issues, but picking a fight didn't help my empathy for his situation.
27th-Jul-2007 03:03 am (UTC)
*sigh* Picking a fight, just because one is feeling like crap and having hell erupting in their life, is not an adult reaction/action. That is very immature and flat out hateful.

I'm sorry any so called friend who picks a fight, or tries to, with me...just because their life is in the shitter...sure as hell doesn't get any sympathy from me. I just got dumped a friendship of nearly 20 years because of nonsense like that.

Really pisses me off when you try to help someone, who's dangerously close to the edge, and they get angry...even tell you that your actions have dishonored them.

Trust me, his ranting finally got him shitcanned out of my life permanently.

So yeah...I know exactly what you're feeling right about now. Empathy can only go so far, before one decides enough is enough.
27th-Jul-2007 04:55 am (UTC)
Well, as of right now, other than a quick text about the incident Tuesday, I've told him the ball is in his court. If he wants to talk and can do so without attacking, I'll be more than happy to talk to him. I just don't feel as though I need to initiate conversation if it's just going to lead to me getting frustrated.
27th-Jul-2007 10:01 pm (UTC)
Just a thought here...how many times has that person put you into such a position/mood? AND, in your humble estimation.....is it worth it?
27th-Jul-2007 10:19 pm (UTC)
This is like the first real fight we've had in the 13 years we've been friends. For the most part, we've been a mutual support network.

So yeah, given how out of character this is, he's worth it. I'm just going to give him space until he figures out whether or not it's worth it.
27th-Jul-2007 10:34 pm (UTC)
*nodding* Wasn't sure if this was an ongoing situation with your friend, or one of those happenings.

Well, like you said, the ball is in his court now.
25th-Jul-2007 05:26 am (UTC)
Yah... this is no surprise to me either.. I got the delete notice, and the leaped headfirst off our local mailing list before anyone could even comment. 5:00pm "I'm leaving here" 5:01 - unsub notice later: several friends accused of not understanding post after getting off work, life etc and nobody knows what they hell anyone did or didn't do. I love him to pieces, but it angers me too, to be told I'm ignoring him because rather than be accused of saying the wrong thing, I say nothing at all. I don't know what else to do. He doesn't want to hear platitudes, he doesn't want to her suggestions about how to feel better, he doesn't want to be told the truth about the way the world works... so I just say nothing and wait for it to pass. That's not ignoring. It's being rejected by the person you're accused of ignoring. I hope he feels better soon and will stop rejecting us. It hurts.
26th-Jul-2007 11:56 pm (UTC)
I'm right there with you. I feel like I've done everything but stand on my head to figure out what he really wants from me, but...

I throw out sympathy, I throw out job suggestions...I get uncharactaristic personal attacks. It really irritated me, particularly when he logged off then deleted everything.
25th-Jul-2007 05:17 pm (UTC)
if this is regarding the person I think it is, I know he's been really down lately (well, for quite a while honestly) and I think he's very disappointed in the way the job search is going right now. Hopefully, things will look up soon and life will look better.

27th-Jul-2007 12:01 am (UTC)
I'm well aware, and I can empathize, because I know what a raving bitch I am when I'm unemployed.

Problem being I didn't particularly appreciate having said person pick a fight with me that came out as I'm happy, he's not...UI don't understand what he's going through...And G-d above and below knows I've tried.
27th-Jul-2007 09:09 pm (UTC)
Well, since everyone seems to have figured out who the culprit is, I may as well share my (almost) 1st hand knowledge.

gangrel_pri, he is happy for you. He has said as much. You know how he, like the rest of his family, tend to catastrophize and self-focus. He sees that someone who has been his best friend for YEARS, is likely never to be seen in his life (beyond text on a screen).

As far as cutting people out of his life...he feels that he has been cut out of everyone else's lives. The group is splintered into factions and, since he does not take sides, he is left out of all sides. Everyone has lives and such that have no room for him. (These are his words, not mine)

He is getting severely depressed about the job hunt. Each offer of assistance that is the same as others or inquiry "Wow, you got your master's. What are you going to do with it?" has started feeling (again his words) like an attack.
27th-Jul-2007 10:16 pm (UTC)
At the risk of dragging you into this situation, iuchiyoshi, you can pass on to the user formerly known as knightbear that I was more miffed that he seemed to want to start a fight the last time we talked.

Which is unusual behavior for him.

Didn't change the fact he pissed me off. Again, unusal for him.

I didn't particularly appreciate being told the I don't care about his life situation, or that any of the stuff going on has no bearing on me. I've kept my mouth shut on advice to him since he obviously doesn't want any, or at least acts like he doesn't want any. I know this has caused lots of friction with other people in his circle of friends.

I didn't like him insinuating that I somehow am responsible for some of his unhappiness because I didn't move back like I was planning to prior to meeting John.

That was the real cause of the above posted rant. He may not have intended to do so, but that's how it came off. I mean, if he really wants to believe I don't give a shit, that's his issue not mine.

And as I stated, if he wants to talk about it, he knows how to get a hold of me. I'm just not going to initiate conversation again if it's only going to lead to a fight.
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