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Changing the world
one mind at a time
01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural… 
1st-Sep-2007 11:45 am
01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans. .
1st-Sep-2007 07:35 pm (UTC)
the simple solution would be government should have no involvement in marriage in any way. Then it would be up to the different religious types to figure it out, for their flock anyways. But thats just a crazy libertarian (minded anyway, I disowned the party nearly 4 years ago)
2nd-Sep-2007 07:32 am (UTC)
Eh, if the current marriage laws were defined as civil statutes and given to any consenting adults, I wouldn't complain. Let the fundies call it marrige if they desire.
2nd-Sep-2007 07:54 am (UTC)
I think Arkansas would have a problem with that whole "consenting adults" part of your idea.
2nd-Sep-2007 02:45 pm (UTC)
*SNORT* Arkansas is kind of like Kentucky. Which is cool, since all I had to do was change states when I started telling KY jokes down here.
1st-Sep-2007 09:24 pm (UTC)
I've read this before and it's awesome every time I do. :)
2nd-Sep-2007 07:33 am (UTC)
It does amuse me. although I think polyesther is still a mistake.
(Deleted comment)
2nd-Sep-2007 07:33 am (UTC)
I figured I'd give folks a chuckle today:)
2nd-Sep-2007 07:53 am (UTC)
When a guy loves another guy, and that guy has a baby, the offspring is often Carrot Top.
2nd-Sep-2007 02:46 pm (UTC)
*TWITCH* Can't we just let the str8 people have Carrot Top?
4th-Sep-2007 10:19 am (UTC)
Sorry... you were outvoted.

Majority rules!
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