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Changing the world
one mind at a time
25th-Jun-2002 03:51 pm
Welcome videodrome and angelsorrow313 to my friend list. The following is a bit of wallowing in self pity.

Another tear rolls down my cheek
the VCR rewinds
fucking thing keeps showing me that image
happy people in love
with their plastic smiles
and doe eyed longing
cooing at each other
fucking bastards.
where is the sturm and drang
when you want to kill someone
just for being happy
since you aren't
and you keep thinking
"Should have been me"
"Should have been me"
reruns of an old love
emotions turning green
trying so hard to be happy
because they're happy
and inside
you rot with hatred
want to stomp them like a grape
just to see them suffer
and then they smile
at the other
and all you can see
is when they smiled at you
and you cry again
knowing that it will never happen
that smile is someone else's
and inside you puke.
25th-Jun-2002 01:14 pm (UTC)
Leid und elend
25th-Jun-2002 07:51 pm (UTC) - Re:
eh? My German is rusty as hell. Repete that in Spanish or French.
25th-Jun-2002 09:01 pm (UTC)
Ja, aber Liebe ist Wirklichkeit nicht. Liebe ist eine Lüge, eine Illusion.
26th-Jun-2002 01:15 am (UTC)
See, Rich? She at least as the courtesy to post a translation when she talks dirty in German to me.
25th-Jun-2002 01:21 pm (UTC)
HUGS. More Massive HUGS.

I have felt that way so many times. And I won't even try to cheer you up and talk those feelings away, cause I know no one can do it for me when I feel that way.

So, just lots of hugs.


ps-did you get my email?
25th-Jun-2002 07:50 pm (UTC) - Re:
Yes, I did get your e-mail, but the red is out on this moniter, so I got a really weird blur. I'm planning on saving it to disk and looking at it on another moniter tonight, preferably one that works.
25th-Jun-2002 02:08 pm (UTC)
i wish i had the magic words to cheer you up so i won't even try other then to say I hear ya.
25th-Jun-2002 07:46 pm (UTC) - Re:
Why thank you.

Considering te mood I've been in recetly, I've been considering changing all my icons to Eeyore.
25th-Jun-2002 05:26 pm (UTC)
I like that poem... I relate so much, I guess. I've often wanted to crush someone like that. Blech. Love stinks.
25th-Jun-2002 07:44 pm (UTC) - Re:
Why thank you. I was rather upset the night that got written, and that was the result.

And now I want to hear the J. Gile's Band(? I think they did that) sing "Love Stinks" again....maye I should just rent the Wedding Singer...
26th-Jun-2002 05:18 am (UTC)
Yep, it was J Giles...
25th-Jun-2002 09:12 pm (UTC)
*big hugs*

I know, very very very well, how you are feeling. Wish I could cheer you up, but when you feel like that there is nothing much anyone can say or do. Like I said earlier in German, Love is not reality. Love is a lie, an illusion. So it doesnt matter much anyway. Only more gut wrenching sorrow. Sorry to be so glum, Im sure that this doesnt apply to 100% of the population but it seems to be the norm for me and most of the people I know. You are a wonderful guy, anyone should be so lucky to hook up with you. Something good will surely come along soon enough.
26th-Jun-2002 01:13 am (UTC)
Ya know, the sad part is I really don't want much, just someting informal. And my sorta ex just finds a man out of nowhere and tey're so saccarine that I could puke. I think that's the reason he keeps inspiring the homicidal poetry.
26th-Jun-2002 02:21 am (UTC)
My, Aren't we a regular ray of darkness in an otherwise dreary and miserable existence? :-)

We love ya anyways. What exactly is going on with you, I am cornfuzzled.
26th-Jun-2002 09:06 am (UTC)
LOL. Yup that's me, a regular ray of darkness. Nothing is going on, it is just an observation. :)
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