Log in

No account? Create an account
Changing the world
one mind at a time
from Mom's BF. 
17th-Apr-2009 11:42 am
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Tim e flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

23 . When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
17th-Apr-2009 06:08 pm (UTC)
Have you been reading Callahan's Saloon again?
17th-Apr-2009 06:40 pm (UTC)
Nah, mom's bf sent those along:)
(Deleted comment)
17th-Apr-2009 07:01 pm (UTC)
17th-Apr-2009 06:52 pm (UTC)
17th-Apr-2009 07:01 pm (UTC)
Blame Mom's Bf. That's one of the cleaner things he's sent recently:)
17th-Apr-2009 08:33 pm (UTC)
Wonder what he'd think of the pun jar concept?
18th-Apr-2009 02:29 am (UTC)
It'd fit right in with his curse jar.
18th-Apr-2009 03:06 am (UTC)
Curse jar? Is that like having to pound a nail into the side of a barn for every swear word you utter?
18th-Apr-2009 05:22 am (UTC)
something like that, yeah
18th-Apr-2009 06:57 pm (UTC)
He swears THAT much!?
19th-Apr-2009 05:17 am (UTC)
he is a carpenter/contractor...
19th-Apr-2009 05:12 pm (UTC)
*nodding* Ayup...they do tend to let it out now and then.
17th-Apr-2009 10:37 pm (UTC)
Ha ha, not bad.
18th-Apr-2009 02:30 am (UTC)
Glad people are getting a kick out of em.
This page was loaded May 25th 2019, 9:30 pm GMT.